The annual POW/MIA Gold Star Mothers ceremony took place at the New Jersey Vietnam Veterans' Memorial in Holmdel on Friday.
HOLMDEL - A somber ceremony was held at the Vietnam Veterans' Memorial at the PNC Bank Arts Center on Friday to honor prisoners of war and those missing in action.
The ceremony was the New Jersey Vietnam Veterans' Memorial Foundation annual recognition of both National POW/MIA Recognition Day (Sept. 18) and Gold Star Mothers Day (Sept. 30).
"It was started in 1938 to honor the Gold Star Mothers, as well as all parents who have lost children in war time, so we have carried on that tradition here," said Bill Linderman, executive director of the New Jersey Vietnam Veterans' Memorial Foundation. The memorial turned 20 years old this year.
Even though it is New Jersey Vietnam Veterans' Memorial, Linderman said the foundation pays tribute to all veterans and their families.
"That's what we're about," he said. "Many of the people on the board served, and I served, in Vietnam. I know what my family went through. So we empathize with what they're families have gone through.
Eatontown residents Ken and Helen Gurbisz never thought they would ever be talking about their son, Jim, in front of a crowd of people.
Sadly, things changed on Nov. 4, 2005 when 25-year-old Jim Gurbisz, a captain in the U.S. Army, was killed by an improvised explosive devise in Baghdad, Iraq.
On Friday, with the 10-year anniversary of their son's death approaching, the couple spoke about their son in front of a group of people for the first time. They said they did it to honor his memory and also show support for other families with similar stories, as well as those families whose loved ones never came home.
"I became a Gold Star mother in 2005. One thing I can say, Ken and I had closure with Jim's death ... we were able to see Jim before he was buried in Arlington National Cemetery and we were able to say our goodbyes. ... Whereas the families of the POWs and MIAs don't know," Helen Gurbisz said. "I can't imagine not knowing."
She said the last 10 years seem to have gone by quickly.
"We just take it one day at a time. Our son would've been the first one to say: ' Stop crying and move on with your lives.' And that's what we've been trying to do," Helen Gurbisz said. "I have met many Gold Star Mothers and families over these past 10 years. All these families have many wonderful memories and stories to share about their loved ones. Don't be hesitant to ask them. They may be sad at times, but they'd love to tell you stories too."
Ken and Helen Gurbisz have been working with and New Jersey Run for the Fallen and the New Jersey Vietnam Veterans' Memorial Foundation on a Gold Star Family Monument at the memorial, which is scheduled to be dedicated in the coming days.
"(The death of a service member) not only affects the mother and the father, but the whole family," Ken Gurbisz said. "This monument is one step toward remembering the loss of a child and what it meant to the families."
Rob Spahr may be reached at rspahr@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter @TheRobSpahr. Find NJ.com on Facebook.